Ten Commandments for Difficult Conversations

Michael Zigarelli

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I. Pray for Inner Peace

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”

(Philippians 4:6)

II. Don’t Assume Their Motivation

“The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out”

(Proverbs 20:5)

III. Deal with the Problem Quickly

“Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”

(Ephesians 4:26)

IV. Deal with the Problem Privately 

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you”

(Matthew 18:15)

V. Listen Before Answering 

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry”

(James 1:19)

VI. Tame Your Tongue

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”

(Proverbs 12:18)

VII. Ignore Petty Insults

“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult”

(Proverbs 12:16)

VIII. Seek a Win-Win Solution

“Look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others”

(Philippians 2:4)

IX. Try Forgiveness

“Forgive, and you will be forgiven”

(Luke 6:37)

X. Repay Evil with Good

“Bless those who persecute you…overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:14, 21)

Michael Zigarelli is an Associate Professor of Management at Messiah College the editor of Christianity9to5.org.