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Ten Commandments for Difficult Conversations

Michael Zigarelli

I. Pray for Inner Peace

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”

(Philippians 4:6)

II. Don’t Assume Their Motivation

“The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out”

(Proverbs 20:5)

III. Deal with the Problem Quickly

“Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”

(Ephesians 4:26)

IV. Deal with the Problem Privately 

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you”

(Matthew 18:15)

V. Listen Before Answering 

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry”

(James 1:19)

VI. Tame Your Tongue

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”

(Proverbs 12:18)

VII. Ignore Petty Insults

“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult”

(Proverbs 12:16)

VIII. Seek a Win-Win Solution

“Look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others”

(Philippians 2:4)

IX. Try Forgiveness

“Forgive, and you will be forgiven”

(Luke 6:37)

X. Repay Evil with Good

“Bless those who persecute you…overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:14, 21)

Michael Zigarelli is an Associate Professor of Management at Messiah College and the editor of Christianity9to5.org.