Coca-Cola: Similarity spawns sales.

Sell your home through me: Doesn't look like similarity principle in action? Consider that this ad appeared in a dog lovers magazine!

Similarity in Parenting

Never underestimate the value of revealing to your kids the mistakes you made when you were their age. Not only does this make you more credible on the issue being discussed, the similarity will build your relationship with them and strengthen your ability to speak into their lives.

Your kids may not listen to much you're saying these days, but they'll certainly listen when you're telling them something you did wrong!

The Similarity of Jesus

Jesus ate the same food, wore similar clothes, didn’t look different from the people he taught (Isaiah 52 – 53). He spoke the same dialect as well, allowing Him to be more credible and influential with them. Consider these verses attesting to Jesus' similarity:

• “I would not have known him, except that the one who sent me to baptize with water told me, 'The man on whom you see the Spirit come down and remain is he who will baptize with the Holy Spirit' (John 1:33).

• “Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness,” (Phil. 2:5-7).

• For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Shrewd Management

In some workplaces, especially those with an “us-against-them” culture, managers secure employee buy-in to an idea by having one of their employees share the idea with his or her peers. Since it’s not management presenting the idea, many employees are more willing to take a second look at a new idea, when they may not have otherwise.

The lesson? You don’t always need to be the one presenting or promoting your ideas. In fact, you may have more success advancing your ideas if you find an employee champion for them, and then let him or her do the selling.

Resolving Conflict through Similarity  

Advice for Dealing with that Especially Difficult Co-worker

Before leaving the subject of conflict resolution, we should address one final predicament: dealing with the "impossible" co-worker, a rare breed that we encounter in some workplaces, but not others. When we do encounter him or her, though, we usually wish we hadn't. 

I'm talking about the person who has made your work life so arduous that the distraction has carried over into your home, the person whose words and actions have caused you to lose sleep, and the person who has wronged you time and again and actually seems to enjoy it. It can be a boss or a peer, but regardless, nothing you have said or done has alleviated the problem.

It’s possible that the situation will never be resolved. However, there’s one nifty technique that may be worthwhile to try because it often results in at least some relief. I do not know to whom it is originally attributed, but I have little doubt that the inventor was an accomplished student of human relationships. The technique is called the “101 Percent Principle.”

Here’s how it works: when dealing with a difficult person, find the one percent of things on which you agree with this person, and devote 100 percent of your energy to this commonality when you are with them (hence, 101 percent). That is, we should, if possible, only talk with them about whatever minuscule intersection of opinion or interest we have and defer, as much as possible, discussion of the many things on which we disagree. In theory, by focusing all of our time with this person on some common bond, the nature of our relationship will change. We’ll begin to drain whatever is leading our nemesis to give us such a hard time. And eventually, he or she may come to view us as not so bad after all, or even as “one of the good guys.”

In all candor, though, this is much easier to read than it is to do. A co-worker who is abusing, harassing, or persecuting you is not someone with whom you want to discuss anything. But sometimes, because of the proximity of this person or because of the interdependence of your jobs, you will not be able to avoid them. So experiment with this. Find one thing where the two of you have some similarity, and focus as much attention on that as you can.

(Excerpted from: Christianity 9 to 5: Living Your Faith at Work, © 1997 by Michael Zigarelli and Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City)